Pretending to be something your not

So basically last night I was lying in bed thinking of cool things to draw and I felt very inspired, possibly due to the drugs I've been taking for my back after the stupid taxi driver crashed into me, although I doubt they were strong enough to encourage me that much seen's they didn't even ease the pain they were prescribed for! Anyway the theme of people/animals etc. pretending to be something they are not came into my mind and it was very interesting exploring it!

It started off as a light and fluffy cartooney style illustration inspiration. I imagined bold coloured, simple vector based illustrations like the kind you'd see on t-shirts, of animals dressed as more fierce or cooler animals you imagine they'd really like to be. Like the Dog dressed as the Lion I'd seen on Facebook . . (which triggered this whole thought process)

A Donkey dressed as a Unicorn, a Child wearing his Daddies work boots and Hard hat, a Boy dressed as a Superhero . . . . 

. . . A Woman wearing Fake tan, Fake nails, Fake boobs, Fake eyelashes, Fake hair, Fake height shoes. Fake image?...

Then I started to wonder about the darker side of people pretending to be something they are not.. An Abusive Spouse pretending to be a Loving Partner in public, a Pedophile with a Fake internet Profile, a Suicide Bomber posing as a Dedicated Religious Deciple.   

A Truth Seeker acting as a Criminal defense Lawyer, a Scared Child as a Playground Tough Guy, A Terrified Mother as a Brave Protector, an Unhappy Relationship posing as the Perfect Couple....

It struck me that so much of what I see people project into the world is Fake. Or them trying to be something they are not, or trying to project an image that is not real.

Why?

To be accepted. 

To be liked. 

To hide from reality. 

To be something they are not.

Of course some of it is for fun, or is a product of aspiration - a child dressing as their beloved parent or idol. Applying a bit of make up to give that little boost of confidence.  

But where does it end? When have we gone too far?

And why can't people just be honest with the world? 

Why are so many people hiding behind a made up public image?

Ohhh I really need to fill in the Gaps ...

Yep I've not written here in a very long time and gazzilions of things have changed since I last posted here! 4 years, Seesh! I will "fill in the gaps" at some stage.... but for now these few little sentences this will have to do...

The Evil Lure of the needle!

I've been contemplating getting into tattooing!
It's been on my mind for a long time...and I keep shrugging it off because I dont even have a feckin tattoo! I mean What kind of Tattoo Artist doesnt have a tattoo?!
Like I want one, just dont know what yet..and I want it to really mean something to me and I want to design it too. So when I figure all that out, then I'll get one.
But I just think I'd really Love to be a Tattoo Artist! It'd be sweet, Getting to draw all day and getting payed for it. And everyone'd think I was deadly :) ha ha, only jokin.
I could see myself being quite good at it though. Like I'd be able to do portrait tattoo's and all no bother I'd say. (once I did all the training and all of course.)
All these feckin Miami, LA and London Ink have me hooked!

But at the same time I'd say I'd be pissed off doin repetitive trend tattoo's. Like I wouldn't wanna do them on people if it was gonna be an obvious phase tattoo in a few years. Like the rose on the arm, or the dolphin on the belly everyone used to get to copy Mark Owen. Theres no way I'd want to be doin shit like that.
And I'm not into all the big skulls and tombstone biker type tattoos, wouldnt be interested in doin them at all!
I dunno..I'm just waffling now.
I've to design a tribal neck and shoulder tattoo for a friend, so we'll see how that goes. I'll prob post it up here if it's any good. I wish I could tattoo it on him! :)

Sidetrack Project...

I'd a few idea's for things I want to do and one of them was to make some clothes on zazzle!
I want to make a few with my paintings, photos etc on them, but I also saw a bit of a niche I might try tap into.. It's just a bit of an idea at the minute but we'll see what happens.

There's a lot more women going to see the matches these days, or at least to the pubs when the matches are on (the feckin hussies!)... and I think they could do with and would love to be able to buy some nice feminine Dublin supporting clothes to wear.
So I made this >> Up the Dubs!

My friend told me the seasons over till the Summer, God dam it!...but on the bright side that'll give me plenty of time to design up a load of really nice stuff by then :)

make custom gifts at Zazzle

Ian Francis

I found another Artist I really like!
His names Ian Francis and I found him in a book of Urban type Art called Outsiders. I just flicked through it, but Its a brilliant book, I have to get it.
Here's his website http://ifrancis.co.uk/ and here's the book. It reminds me of a banksy book I have, but it's got all different types and styles of Urban Art/Artists in it.

http://www.ektopia.co.uk/ektopia/archives/2008/11/01/outsiders-new-steve-lazarides-book I cant wait to get it actually, but I wasn't buying it there and then so I took down Ian Francis' name and googled it when I got home.

--I seem to have noticed a big trend in the Art I'm atracted to!

Before if anyone asked me, I wouldn't have been able to tell them what I like. But I seem to really like Figurative, Urban/Unfinished/Messy looking Colourful Art :). I know that might sound mad, but that's just the word's that came into my mind to describe it! Makes sense in my head anyway...

Defining moments

Isn't it funny how influenced we can be by the things people say?
A few years back I was in town and I met an old friend. She had gone on to study Art History or Fine Art or something. Anyway I had been painting away doing Lovers paintings and basically Figurative paintings from pictures I'd cut out of magazines and posters etc. I had photo's of my latest work with me and was really proud of them, so I showed her. She looked at them and she said:

"yeh they're really good but would you not use your own pictures to paint from? your just copying someone else's Art."

It was like a steam train hitting me.
I never thought of it like that before.
That's how I'd always made pictures. That's how I'd learned to draw, from copying another picture.
I went home that day on a downer.
What was I to do now?
It was true what she said. The pictures I was using were someone else's Art. Photographic Art. then I started to think about the photographer and maybe they'd be pissed off if they knew I was "copying" their Art. After all they had taken the time to come up with a concept, set up the shot, found the right angles, lighting etc to get that perfect shot. And then I come along, like what I see and just "copy" it.
So I decided I wasn't gonna copy anyone else's Art anymore.
But the pictures I'd been painting were of things I didn't have access to. I'd have to hire models and I didn't have the money for that.
I felt like I'd come up against a wall.
So I started taking lot's of photo's. I brought the camera everywhere with me. I had a dummies head and I took photo's of that from diffen't angles. I got some good shots and painted pictures of a few of them. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=waekEwXsYZ4

Then I was asked to paint a picture from one of Anne Geddes photographs. I had actually seen the picture before and wanted to paint it, but didn't because it was "someone elses Art." So at first I was like oh no, I don't want to. But it was for a friend and it was a present for her daughter who'd finally conceived after years of trying. The picture really meant a lot to her, so I did it.
It turned out to be an Amazing painting, one of the best I'd ever done. She liked it so much she ended up keeping it herself and asking me to make a print of it for her daughter instead! I did and sold a couple more to others too. It seemed to really hit a note with people. I put a picture of it on my business card and got a lot of work from people seeing it. One girl loved it so much she even got a tattoo of it! She had lost a baby and felt it was her baby in God's hands.
Anyway a few years down the line and I have a different view about this whole "other peoples art" thingy.
I was obviously meant to paint that picture. And maybe Anne Geddes would feel flattered that I was so impressed by her photograph I felt inspired to paint it?
Anyway It's taken me a long time to get to this point.
As much as I respect other peoples views and like getting differen't opinions, I do what I want now. I'm not put off by what another person thinks it takes to make an Artist.
I know who I am and I know what I like doing and what I enjoy doing.
I will not let myself be defined by other peoples opinions. I'm gonna do what makes me happy and enjoy making Art whatever way I feel like it! :)
And if people like it great, if not. who cares? I'm not painting to suit them, I'm doing it for me.

Big Leap Painting

I'm working on a new piece using newspaper, canvas, a magazine image and acrylic. Ive always liked the idea of seeing newspaper through paint and I saw a painting in a pop art book of an American flag painted over newspaper and it looked really cool, so I was inspired to make one myself. I love looking through magazines and used to cut out pictures I liked in them. Like beautiful girls or lovers, fashion I Liked (as reference when I was designing clothes) sometimes even strips of just colours or textures like wood, water, the sky. I wanted to make a picture instinctively. I didn't want to plan it, or take time, just stick things together and see how it turned out. I used to be very precise about what I was doing and I wanted to step away from that, to free myself of the perfectionist within. So I dug out one of my old folders and looked through the pictures I'd cut out. I found a lovely one of a girls face and was like "thats the one". I got out the canvas, positioned it at the top and proceeded to cover the rest with newspaper. It was so much fun! Picking out the parts of the newspaper that looked interesting, ripping them out and pasting them on :) When it dried I started painting it. I've been painting it a little bit at a time when I get a chance. Here's what I did so far..

The reason I called this a big leap painting is because I used to see Art people would make with pictures stuck on and think they were cop outs. That they must be shit at drawing so they stick pictures on to make their art look good. It used to piss me off if they looked really good because I'd have spent hrs, days, weeks painting a picture and they could just stick on a picture and it could look just as good!! Man that really pissed me off! And most people wouldn't even know the difference.

Anyway a few years down the line and here I am, making cop out art! ha ha. Ah I'm just experimenting. I'm not planning on selling it. I just want to experiment with different things and see what I like doing. I'm having fun with Art, not taking it so serious.

I'm not sure what else I'm going to do with it, I'm just taking my time and we'll see what happens :)...

Art Appreciation

When I was in school I was never into any of the Art/Artists we had to learn about. To be honest all I wanted to do was make Art myself! I couldn't have been arsed learning about some guy who lived 100s of years ago and how they ...bla bla bla.
Even going to Art Galleries, yeah I loved the trip and getting out of school and all, but all I seemed to see were old paintings with sad stories and love starved artists, or some mad Abstract pictures with triangles and squares or paint splashed on a canvas that my 2year old nephew could do. Nothing I saw ever seemed to resonate with me.
Maybe I wasn't going to see the right exhibitions? I don't know, but I know what I did see didn't make me feel excited or inspired enough to want to come back and visit again.
I actually used to feel weird about it. Like why would I feel this way, if I myself wanted to be an Artist? Shouldn't I be in my element in a gallery? Shouldn't I want to soak up as much information I can about the Artists that came before me?
And this snobbery that comes with a lot of Art Galleries... I mean I've often walked into a gallery and felt really awkward. Been made to feel as if I didn't belong, I shouldn't be there.
All of these things really made me question if I was meant to be an Artist?

I believe you should Love what you do, it should feel right, you should just know it's meant to be, but these things made me doubt myself and my place in the Art world.

It's only recently that I've felt like I belong. Things really seem to be changing. Theres a new buzz about Art. Computers and the Internet have really opened the doors to a lot of people. Art is a lot more accessible, to people of all backgrounds. And you can see and be influenced, inspired and motivated by Artists from all over the world without even leaving your sofa :)

The First Artist I came across that really Blew me Away was Mark Demsteader. http://www.demsteader.com/index.html
He was the first Artist I ever saw that I'd really Love to own a piece of his work. That I felt like I wished I had've painted his pictures! :)
I just think his work is Amazing!! I Love how realistic his pictures are, as in how real the people look, they seem to be proportionately perfect. But its obvious it's not a photograph. The rendering is messy, unperfect, almost dirty looking, but yet still beautiful.

More recently some other Artists I found who's work I really like.. (Click on them to see them bigger. They are Well worth a good look!)



From left to right Bec Winnel(My charlie girl), Coco Electra, Bec Winnel again, Allison Torneros. In The next strip I'm not sure who made the first two and a guy called Travis did the last one. I found most of these on http://www.talentdatabase.com/a brilliant website, very inspiring to browse through. I have a listing myself. It's got some of the Art I did that I really like. It's http://www.talentdatabase.com/channels/1-Art/profiles/1428102-Jess-Bridgeman
Hopefully I'll be adding some new pieces along the way, in the quest to find my new style.

Honest to Blog

(Yeah yeah I stole the title, but so what, it fits.)
Anyway here goes... this is me. The real Jess anseo.
For so long I've hidden behind a shield, not showing the real me. A shield in a sense to shield others. A shield of courtesy. And I guess I built it up to try protect others from what I was afraid of.
Rejection, disapproval, not being accepted.

Now I've come to a point in life where I have a voice and I want to use it!! I'm not afraid of offending anyone anymore. I'm not afraid of people not agreeing with my opinions. I don't need approval to feel accepted. And for the first time in my life I feel I might actually have something to say! I'm not saying I want to preach or that I'm going to post up any life changing opinions. But I guess making this blog is a big deal to me. It's the first thing I've really done just for me, not to promote anything, just for me to have fun and explore life and being me.

I did start this blog in an attempt to explore my Art and my Creative Style, but as I started to write all this stuff just started to pour out. So I guess I'm gonna be delving a bit deeper than that! I have a feeling I'm gonna really enjoy making this blog! I wonder what else is gonna find it's way to the surface :)